December, 2023
Dear Family and Friends,                                     

We bring our years to an end like a sigh. Psalm 90:9.

You decide whether that’s a sigh of exhaustion or contentment after you hear about our year.  

During Oklahoma’s winter (OK for those in ID, we aren’t used to it), February 4^th brought Joey and I flying to Hawaii to visit friends. We felt honored they’d invite us, until we found they’d asked “everyone.” We were one of the few who accepted! We saw Pearl Harbor where the warning was ignored and the tragic attack was not anticipated. Sigh. Dole Plantation, Diamond Head, the lighthouse, gardens, the wall of wind—where constant wind keeps you standing (islanders thought their fortress was secure, no one should climb the steep cliffs around it because of the wind. But the enemy did and attacked and won.) Another sigh.

Upon returning to Oklahoma’s winter, Joey’s office was closed. A water pipe burst, flooding the first floor. The break enabled us to visit my sister and her family from Canada while they were in Indianapolis. It was the first time, in a long time, all of us girls were together. It was the last time for us to see mom. Sigh.

In March, I met with a specialist in adrenal fatigue. Started the program with extensive supplements and a special diet. He predicted a long process to bring my system back to normal. Deep sigh.

Joey ran a Spartan Race in Texas. I was sighing, no gasping, trying to watch him. As we left, our tires acted wonky from parking in the cattle pasture. We stopped in a small town, late Saturday morning before they closed. We sighed over all the details—that we even stopped, the store was open, and had our tires. We left with four new tires. God was in the details.

Went to a seminar on how to retire from the army (tells you a lot right there.). The eight-hour class caused many sighs from me—why people who spend their lives serving their country, must fight for every benefit they earned and were promised? None of the departments talk with each other, so can only help with one thing. How do we make sure everything is done? Sigh…ALL…DAY, then as Joey works with the government system to get it done, bigger sigh.

Easter came with all the boys and their families visiting, except Josiah and Dana with Miriam and Heidi, (too close to baby time). When one misses, there’s always a hole. But always enjoy those who come. It was good to sing together again. Always enjoy playing with Jacob and Inna. 

Joey John and Rachel, with their three girls, Emma, Grace and Anne, became house owners in IL. We were all excited after their long wait. It’s nice watching them adapt their house for their needs.

Our brother-in-law was diagnosed with bone cancer. We made a weekend trip to see him. 
Also dropped off Jeremiah to visit his siblings before going to Squaw Valley to work with friends at their AirBnB for the summer. Last son growing up. Long sigh.
Found my projects were actually my projects—meaning I had to do them. No boys to help. I had to say, “Nope, can’t do that.” Big adjustment. Deep sigh.

In May, we saw our new addition, Joanna, (Josiah and Dana’s) weighing 8 lbs. 3 oz. Always an adjustment, especially with now three little ones. It’s daddy time for Heidi.
Also attended Inna’s graduation. Gammy joined us, too. Visits are too short. Sigh.

In June, Joey was gone two and a half weeks for army. While gone, Josh helped pick up some bagged gravel for one of my projects. When we went in our ’97 Dodge, he asked, “How many pounds would it be?” The bags were in cubic feet, so I thought I figured the pounds right. Wasn’t too much…When they loaded the 50 bags with a fork lift and the truck sank into the pavement, I was glad Josh was driving. On the way home, Josh mentioned he should have borrowed a trailer… I thanked him profusely,  “I know it’s not a big thing for you to drive, but it is for me.” His comment said it all, “No, Mom, that load was a big thing for me.” We arrived home safely. THAT was a sigh of relief.
When he unloaded the truck—all fifty bags, I sighed again.
Later, moving just one bag, I pulled some muscles ini my back. Couldn’t move for two weeks. Josh brought meals home. I did a lot of sighing over doing nothing!

After my mom broke her hip, she wouldn’t do physical therapy (with her dementia, she couldn’t understand), so she could not return home to my sister’s. Went to a nursing home. Frustrated sigh.

One weekend in July, all of the boys met us in LA to see Gammy, Joey’s mom. Surgery had removed three large, cancer masses (15 cm, 7 cm, and 4 cm). The doctor had given her a month to live. In spite of the short notice, everyone, except Rachel (Joey John’s wife) and their three girls, were able to come. Time went fast.

James started paramedic school, full-time for 8 months. His long wait while caring for my mom over, though he visited regularly at the nursing home. He still lives in Indpls, too far for quick visits. Sigh.

While Jeremiah was gone, his hamster died. (I was feeding it.) Sigh.
We also put down one of our dogs of 12 years. Sigh.
Because of the hot summer, we brought our dogs inside (just in the entryway). Though treating their fleas, apparently not enough, for soon we all had them. After multiple home-remedy failures, we had a professional spray the house—twice.
When everyone else stopped itching, I scratched, with no new bites or were they?. My skin seemed over-sensitive, who’s surprised? I stopped using fragrances in soap, laundry detergent, etc. (My boys will testify, I didn’t allow much fragrances anyway.) Still got bites. Was it bites, allergies, or me just making it up? Joey said, “Hot showers can cause itching.” Not changing those!…Steroids didn’t knock it out. Six months is a L-O-N-G time to itch. Sigh and scratch.

Joey and I wanted less baggage than an RV but more comfort than a tent. Car camping it is! We tested our arrangement at Natural Falls State Park. When we walked fifty yards to the spectacular falls, rather than hike 3 miles of steep terrain to finally see the view, it almost took away the sight’s splendor. But the falls were still appreciated. Will car camp again.

Keeping track of everyone’s birthday is an ALL YEAR event for me. Getting a card in the mail ON TIME but not too early taxes my ability! 

Jonathan and McKenna moved from Dallas area to Sherman (only 2 hours from us), closer to his work, in a house for the kids and bigger as McKenna’s brother Kai also stays there too.
We celebrated Elanna’s fourth birthday indoor sky diving. 
While there, we received a call that Josh, who rode his motorcycle and left earlier than we did, hadn’t made it home. The ER doctor told us as we drove the 2 hours home, Josh’s helmet, leather jacket, pants and boots saved his life. I said, “No, God saved him.” The more I heard about his accident, the more I knew it was only God. 
He escaped every possible scenario imaginable, as he hit a cement pillar and flew over his bike. He came away with his life and a shattered knee cap. Surgery, pins and wire netting later, he was home. (Ever cage a wild animal? Only while it’s immobilized by pain. Ever try to keep a bird from flying? Impossible. Ever make a squirrel sit still? Not recommended.) Yeah. Sigh. 
His healing was miraculous. Three weeks and he was back to work. Limping, but soon ditching the crutches and driving his semi. Physical therapy should strengthen and bring mobility back.

While in the hospital with Josh, James texted. My mom died. 
Psalms 90:3,5,10 also says, You return man to dust and say, ‘Return, O children of man!...like grass that is renewed in the morning….The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.

Mom was 90; her life filled with toil. She’s done with trouble. She’s now resting with Jesus. 
My sisters arranged a memorial service for later. 
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 says there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heaven: a time to be born and a time to die.
Though inevitable, those who remain still sigh over the loss.

TWO weeks later, Jonas and Jane welcomed, long awaited little Ruth weighing 5 lbs. 14 oz. How such a little one can change everyone’s life! Long sigh. Later this year, Jonas will move his family from ID to CA as he finishes his training of horses and will work at the ranch in CA.

Jacob finished remodeling their RV and moved to Josiah’s driveway. Their daily two little visitors, Miriam and Heidi, liven up their place. 

Two weeks after Jacob and Inna’s due date and 2 days of contractions, little Finley Joshua arrived at 7 lbs. 1 oz.
Lesson one of motherhood…it’s not how you think it’ll be. Babies come, not according to our plans or time, but on their own time and way. 
All mothers, babies and fathers are doing well. Big sigh.

Papa and Nana are praising God for all ten of our “GRAND” children. Nana’s itching for a trip West to see the new additions. Shouldn’t say, itching...scratch, scratch, scratch.

Jeremiah, while in California, practiced driving. He was driving when a deer hit him. Jeremiah is reported to have kept his calm, not swerved and pulled over as soon as he could. Upon returning to Oklahoma, he passed his driver’s license. Not sure if the sigh is for his completion or that he now has freedom to drive. He searched extensively, and now also has his own set of wheels (and car to go with them.) Big accomplishments. Glad for the jobs that enabled him to save enough. Sigh.

In one of our dinner discussions, I recounted a quote shared with Family Viber. “A toddler can do more in one unsupervised moment than most people can do all day.” Josh said the answer to that is not to have children. I responded, “Life would be very quiet.”
He smiled, “And peaceful. There’s how you make world peace.”
Yet children teach us so much. When Dana asked Miriam (4), “When are you going to pick up your things?” She answered, “Tuesday and Saturday.” When asked what she’ll be doing the other days, she said, “I’ll be busy.” 
Joey John had been working on a car repair. Grace, headed to the garage with a notebook, said, “I’m going to watch Dad and make a book of instructions for my husband in case he ever does anything like this.” She’s 7! She’s going to have quite the comprehensive book by the time she marries. Joey and I pray daily for their spouses. Sigh.

Joey attended a conference in Nashville. I joined him. I didn’t go for the songs and music, but for the fall colors, gardens and company. Sigh of relaxation.

Joey’s mom, still receiving chemo, was found to have another cancer; this one larger. Surgery was not an option, chemo was not aggressive enough. We returned to LA to see her.

Thanksgiving weekend we spent with Jonathan and McKenna, Kai, and the kids in Galveston Texas. Playing miniature golf with two little ones makes for a unique game—never know what ball you should be hitting. Batting cages were also a hit (pun intended). 
As we returned, we received news: Gammy died. a time to be born and a time to die. 
She waited until we all had said our “goodbyes”  and were “ready.” (As ready as anyone can be for loss.) She was ready. It is us who remain who sigh deeply.

How does a person live with so many sighs? The next verse in Psalms tells us. 
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90: 12.

We are never told we will understand the reason for all the sighs—look at Job, who suffered yet never knew why. But what Job did find was the greatness of God. And therein lies the wisdom. The fear of the of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Proverbs 9:10.
Those sighs came as a result of man’s disobedience. Man chooses to stay as far away from God—and His wisdom, as he can. But God sent His Son to deliver us from the bondage of sin and paid the penalty to allow us back into His presence. But we must chose to come. 
Without God, our lives are just a series of sighs, then death. And judgment.
But with God, we find even those sighs are worth it—they cause us to look to Him and find His greatness. Our sighs have purpose. We don’t suffer in vain. Troubles make us look to Him for answers. And we find He is enough.

May your sighs bring you closer to God and His wisdom,

Joey, Sonya, Joshua and Jeremiah

I write about what matters...to you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what matters...to Him.
               Sonya Contreras

Our Adventures Year by Year

For over thirty years I've been chronicling our family's adventures in yearly Christmas letters.
Watch our family grow and learn alongside us. 

The letters are listed in reverse chronological order below.

The Year of the Sighs, 2023
Life's Little Pleasures, 2022
Yearning for a Place, 2021
God is in the Details, 2020
Hanging by a Threads, 2019
Danger, 2018
What Is Trust 2017
Who Has Control 2016
What Is Your Story? 2015
Do Your Parents Want You to be Responsible? 2014
Take Wings and Fly: 2013
The Forever Year--Respect: 2012
Buffaloes and Butterflies: 2011
Why Don't We Have Any Adventures? 2010
The Glad Game: 2009
Things Our Mothers Taught Us: 2008
Cowboy Logic: 2007
Wow! What a Ride! 2006
Peace on Earth? 2005
Grace and Mercy 2004
Dependence: 2003
Enjoying Life: 2002
Be Like a Child: 2001
Battle Zone: 2000
Help! 1999
Whatever Your Hand Finds To Do March 1999
Learning Through a Child's Eyes: 1997
Productive: July 1997
Love, 1996
Available in book form for the first twenty years.
Click on book cover for details.

Faith
Find more articles about faith here:
Dear Faithful and Loyal Readers
Life Falling Apart? Try Gratitude
A Few Words about Marriage
When Suffering Gets Personal
What an Amazing God We Serve
Response to Healthy Gaming
How Miserable Are You? Are You Happy?
The Need for Meaning Even in Pain
Reminders of What's Important
God's Unmeasurable Love
A Quarter of a Century Spent for Our Country
What Were You Thinking?
Who Are You Watching?
Boundaries for a Better Life
God's Boundaries
Memories of a Hero Mom
The Ripple Effect
How Do We Think Like Jesus
Litany of a Waiting Woman
Ever Cook a Frog?
New Year's Reminders
They Galled Her Gammy
When God Speaks
A Russian Christmas Story
Be Thankful
Be Grateful
Are You Tired of the Same, Old Thing?
  (reprint)
Laughter—Why Laugh?
Mom
Are You Disturbed?
Unity of the Brothers
Encouragements To Declutter
Do You Have Too Much Stuff?
Too Much Stress
Getting Past the Noise—The Value of Silence
Are You Scatterbrained?
How Good Are You?
Looking for Something Good To Read?
A Cup of Cold Water
I Will Trust When I Cannot See
Encouragement—What Is It?
Being in God's Presence
"Einstein and the Professor"
When God Is Silent
Do You Crave Beauty?
Using Stories to Discipline
The Danger of the Wrong Story
Using Stories to Teach Lessons
God is in charge of the future
November Dare Joy Challenge
Ungratefulness
Developing an Attitude of Gratitude
Looking for Jesus
What Do Your Prayers Reflect?
Life's Little Pleasures
Daniel—Greatly Loved by God
Take Every Thought
Jars of Clay
What Do Your Words Reveal about Your Heart?
How Do You Get Strong Faith?
Too Busy for God's Word?
How Do You Think Like Jesus?
Reflections from a Mom
Pain—What's It Good For?
Why Marry?
Consider the Robin
One Life Who Made a Difference
What Day Are You Living In?
Interrupted by God
Is Jesus Really the Answer to Everything?
Are You Beat Up?
What's Your Hurry?
Are You a Manipulator?
Are You Salty?
Are You Condemned?
Trying to Understand?
Do You Expect Answers to Your Prayers?
Do You Eat Your Stress?
Need Focus?
Going through Trouble?
Immanuel—God with Us
Looking for a Relationship?
When God Says, "No!"
What Do You Do with Left-Overs?
How Great Is Your God?
Are You Needy?
How Do You See Sin?
What Do Your Words Mean?
Is Evil Overwhelming You?
Those Aha Moments
Is Your Soul Happy?
Are You Ignored?
Looking for the God Moment
Do You Know Truth from Almost Truth?
I Believe in Jesus—What Now?
Do You Have Your "Son"-Glasses On?
Less Is More
Singing His Praise
Are You Trying To Do It All?
What Do You Do with All These Prayer Requests?
Have a Problem?
Do You Know How to Pray?
Looking for God in Every Moment
Are You Receptive to God's Blessings?
Tell the Senate: Mothers Aren't Birthing People
Is Your Life Complicated?
How Do We Fight Evil?
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Giving Up or Taking Away
the Bible is simple
Are You a Dripping Faucet?
What's Your Testimony?
The Final Move
Be Careful What You Wish For!
Are Your Prayers Answered?
I Choose Joy
What Have You Learned from Your Hardship?
Who Are You Trying to Change?
What's Your Five-Year Plan?
The Danger of "Aloneness"
My Colors
Are You a Whiner?
Are Your Works Approved?
Do You Think You're Stressed?
Is Your Soul Feeling Ragged?
God Speaks to the Heart of the King
What about the Details?
Have You Felt the Long-Suffering of God?
How Does God Lead You?
Do You Have Enough?
Don't Carry More than You Need
Cast the Seed
God Is Faithful
Are You Deceived?
Are You Essential?
Are You Safe?
Are You Tired of the Same Old Thing?
Does the World Make Sense?
Have You Seen God's Majesty?
Do You Feel Judged?
If You Only Had One More Day To Live
Are You Understood?
Do You Long for the Word of God?
Slow Down and Smell the Dead Leaves
Are You Hospitable?
Our Heritage Is Bought by Blood
Are You Disturbed?
Are You Depressed?
I Did It My Way
Finding the Simple Life with Meaning
The Simple Life
Do You Have the Right Words?
Did Your Dream Die?
On the Other Side of the Fence
Marijuana, Mental Illness, and Violence
Confessions of a Desperate Mom
Saving for Tomorrow
A Wedding Remembered
Who Will Stand in the Gap?
Are You a Protector or a Ruler?
Who Are You?
Are You an Image Bearer or a Wad of Cells?
Are You a Watchman?
Where Do You Find Meaning?
The Lamb of God as Told by a Scribe
What Love Is This?
Remember: The Symbols of Passover Explained
Tea and Rest
Do You Have Peace?
What Makes a Marriage Work?
When Life Is Awful
Are You Strong Enough?
Rules
Seasons
Be Faithful through Suffering
Do You Know the Word?
Wake Up! Strengthen What Remains
Are You Spit in God's Mouth?
Is Jezebel in Your Midst?
Do You Stand Against Satan Himself?
Are You Tired of Being a Mom?
What in the World Is Happening?
It's Not My Story
How Would Your Faith Compare?
Are You Sinking?
Are You a Rule Follower?
Useful for Him
An Intimate Moment with Mary
The Worldview that Makes the
   Underclass
Thoughts to Ponder
What Does It Take To Know the
    Heart of God?
See the Story in the Stars
Do the Scriptures Burn You?
Being in His Presence
Contentment: It's Not for the Timid
How Secure Are You?
How Do You Respond To Stupid People?
The Earthworm Is My Hero
Heart Issues or Issues of the Heart
Things Aren't Always What They Seem
More faith articles are found here:

under the Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Or here:

under the Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Articles on Suffering can be found  here, 

under Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Special Days
Remember: The Symbols of 
   Passover Explained    
Aug 12, 2017 The Heavens Declare the Glory of God
July 4th, Freedom
What Is an American Soldier?
Valentine's Day: A Day of Love?
Memorial Day-A Day To Remember
Veterans' Day-To Honor Our Men
Fall Colors
First Thanksgiving Day
    Proclamation
Christmas: Stories behind the Songs
Christmas: Stories behind the Songs, part 2