Are you hospitable? 

I love visiting my sister. When we arrive, she gives us a tour of what she has available. She shows us where to find the extra toiletries for those who forgot. She opens her refrigerator and explains what special treats she found for us. After visiting, she asks what would make our stay better. I feel like I’ve just stayed at a deluxe hotel but at home.
She makes us feel at home, without the need to clean.
She is hospitable.

My husband calls me a party person, for with every boy’s graduation or special event that we host, I am planning and preparing a feast. Last year we had over fifty people for Thanksgiving. With each graduation, the numbers that the boys invite have grown too close to sixty. As their customer base increased with their weed wacking business, so did the people they knew.
And with the Mexican culture, family means total familia.

When one son’s rehearsal dinner included over fifty, I knew it was another planning marathon.
Often, we spontaneously invite a family or two after church. We pull out hot dogs and make a quick dinner.

How did I arrive at being able to host so many or frequently, without preparing?

I didn’t plan to, that’s for sure. And it wasn't easy. I’m an introvert. I like my alone time. When we visit others, I reach a saturation point, where I just shut down. I’m kinda done with people. My husband knows this and will ask, “Are you ready to leave?” And I sure am. I did what I needed for my family. My sons needed all those people to come and wish them well on their new adventures. (I certainly didn't. But I was glad they did. I met some wonderful people through them.)

My husband grew up close to all his family. On Christmas, the doors were like a revolving door of well-wishing family just stopping by.
But not just for Christmas. Their doors were always open. Their table always spread for anyone.
We lived with his parents for a year. I watched as my mother-in-law made meal after meal, catering to everyone’s special needs, as she listened to their news and stories. She sat and listened while family was there.

In contrast, I could only remember a handful of visitors my entire childhood. Potlucks at church were the extent of our visiting others, except for going to visit family, once a year.
When we married, it was an adjustment for my husband to be alone—just the children and I, for the holidays. It was also an adjustment for me to welcome others to our home.

When we first married, my husband invited some of his classmates, just for dinner, nothing intensive. Usually they were bachelors able to appreciate any offerings I gave.

We started hosting a Christmas cookie exchange to meet our neighbors. Anyone able brought enough cookies to share. I provided snacks. The shared cookies were distributed and sent home with everyone. Sometimes we would sing or share what we were thankful for. When we moved to Squaw Valley, it became the only time we saw our neighbors. And something many of our elderly neighbors looked forward to and asked about in July.
Because we knew our neighbors, we could help recently when one became a widow. He came for dinner and shared his struggles. Because I was willing to share my house with others.

As the boys reached out to the community with their weedwacking, they suggested inviting people who wanted to meet us for dinner. 

For each birthday, they chose the dinner and guest they’d like to share it with. One son wanted beef stomach (we had just butchered) with a couple I didn’t even know. I tried to channel his choice of dinner to some food more generally acceptable. He would not be persuaded. The meal was eaten. The couple was delightful. And I learned not to stress over how visitors will accept my meal. (A lesson I must continually re-learn.)

The boys do well at cleaning. If they don’t, it doesn’t get done. And I look the other way. 

I concentrate on the meal and table settings but keep it simple. When planning graduation parties, I include entertaining decorations so moms can eat. When one son was going to crane operating school, I bought Dollar Store trucks and bulldozers and small squirt guns for the centerpieces. When another son was leaving for farrier school, the centerpieces changed to horses and bubbles.

The boys set up their volleyball net or played frisbee. Nothing too structured.

When one son was teaching Sunday School, the coordinator suggested planning a special day to “get to know” his students. When he suggested bringing them home to ride horses, the coordinator announced it from the pulpit. We had fifty people come—I had only met the coordinator once. My son bought pizza. They also brought some. They had a wonderful time.
His students asked later when they could come back for “just their own day.”

The boys hosted their bachelor party at our house, while "the parents" stayed in their room. They had hot dogs with fixings. Simple. Plain. But Appreciated.

It wasn’t always easy to be hospitable.
I would fret and stew over cleaning. I would scream at the boys as they cleaned, inspecting with a critical eye.
I would use my “best” dishes and spend hours washing before and after the event.

I have since simplified my preparations. Making and freezing cookies early. Planning meals that don't require little “last minute touches.” Freezing ahead. Serving what we have. Using throw-away cooking and serving pans to simplify clean up.
I try to rest before the visitors come, because I still shut down when the sun goes down.
The boys know the system. Now most are not home to help with cleaning. Much of the deep cleaning that use to get done is forgotten. 
I don’t peer into corners for dirt. 
I sit and talk with those who come. Catch up on their lives. See what they have been doing.
The dirt is forgotten.
The meal is enjoyed.
The memories are made. 

As an introvert, I struggle with what to say. They seem to remember a lot about us from past Christmas letters. I have received no news from them. What about their kids? Their life? I don’t know. And don't even know where to begin to ask. I forget names. I forget stories they already told me from last year. I don’t make a good conversationalist. I wish I could remember more. But I try.

I didn’t become the “party person” overnight. Nor do I consider myself the "party person" much as my husband says. 
But experimenting with those bachelors, I gained confidence.
After all, people are just people. 

We lose opportunities to help others when we fret more about how our house looks
than whether people are hurting and need help.

When we neglect hospitality, we lose what God wants to teach and give us.

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:2. 

I write about what matters...to you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what matters...to Him.
               Sonya Contreras

Faith
Find more articles about faith here:
Have a Problem?
Do You Know How to Pray?
Looking for God in Every Moment
Are You Receptive to God's Blessings?
Tell the Senate: Mothers Aren't Birthing People
Is Your Life Complicated?
How Do We Fight Evil?
Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Giving Up or Taking Away
the Bible is simple
Are You a Dripping Faucet?
What's Your Testimony?
The Final Move
Be Careful What You Wish For!
Are Your Prayers Answered?
I Choose Joy
What Have You Learned from Your Hardship?
Who Are You Trying to Change?
What's Your Five-Year Plan?
The Danger of "Aloneness"
My Colors
Are You a Whiner?
Are Your Works Approved?
Do You Think You're Stressed?
Is Your Soul Feeling Ragged?
God Speaks to the Heart of the King
What about the Details?
Have You Felt the Long-Suffering of God?
How Does God Lead You?
Do You Have Enough?
Don't Carry More than You Need
Cast the Seed
God Is Faithful
Are You Deceived?
Are You Essential?
Are You Safe?
Are You Tired of the Same Old Thing?
Does the World Make Sense?
Have You Seen God's Majesty?
Do You Feel Judged?
If You Only Had One More Day To Live
Are You Understood?
Do You Long for the Word of God?
Slow Down and Smell the Dead Leaves
Are You Hospitable?
Our Heritage Is Bought by Blood
Are You Disturbed?
Are You Depressed?
I Did It My Way
Finding the Simple Life with Meaning
The Simple Life
Do You Have the Right Words?
Did Your Dream Die?
On the Other Side of the Fence
Marijuana, Mental Illness, and Violence
Confessions of a Desperate Mom
Saving for Tomorrow
A Wedding Remembered
Who Will Stand in the Gap?
Are You a Protector or a Ruler?
Who Are You?
Are You an Image Bearer or a Wad of Cells?
Are You a Watchman?
Where Do You Find Meaning?
The Lamb of God as Told by a Scribe
What Love Is This?
Remember: The Symbols of Passover Explained
Tea and Rest
Do You Have Peace?
What Makes a Marriage Work?
When Life Is Awful
Are You Strong Enough?
Rules
Seasons
Be Faithful through Suffering
Do You Know the Word?
Wake Up! Strengthen What Remains
Are You Spit in God's Mouth?
Is Jezebel in Your Midst?
Do You Stand Against Satan Himself?
Are You Tired of Being a Mom?
What in the World Is Happening?
It's Not My Story
How Would Your Faith Compare?
Are You Sinking?
Are You a Rule Follower?
Useful for Him
An Intimate Moment with Mary
The Worldview that Makes the
   Underclass
Thoughts to Ponder
What Does It Take To Know the
    Heart of God?
See the Story in the Stars
Do the Scriptures Burn You?
Being in His Presence
Contentment: It's Not for the Timid
How Secure Are You?
How Do You Respond To Stupid People?
The Earthworm Is My Hero
Heart Issues or Issues of the Heart
Things Aren't Always What They Seem
More faith articles are found here:

under the Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Or here:

under the Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Articles on Suffering can be found  here, 

under Table of Contents. Also available in book form.
Special Days
Remember: The Symbols of 
   Passover Explained    
Aug 12, 2017 The Heavens Declare the Glory of God
July 4th, Freedom
What Is an American Soldier?
Valentine's Day: A Day of Love?
Memorial Day-A Day To Remember
Veterans' Day-To Honor Our Men
Fall Colors
First Thanksgiving Day
    Proclamation
Christmas: Stories behind the Songs
Christmas: Stories behind the Songs, part 2