My Space, My Time, My Needs

In the midst of raising babies and young children is there such a thing as your time? You feel every time you turn around someone is demanding something from you. By the time your husband comes home from work, you feel like a limp, soggy rag that should have been washed three weeks ago.

After you maneuver through dinner (when do you really eat a sit-down meal when a baby wants to nurse or a toddler finishes in five minutes and you haven’t even begun to eat?) You throw any leftovers in containers for tomorrow’s lunches, and soak the pans to greet you in the morning.

Then it’s time to get them to bed. Deep Sigh.

When do you get “alone” time? You can’t even go to the bathroom by yourself, lest your toddler yell through the door in a petrified voice wondering if you’ve disappeared. (Only in your wishes)

My husband knows I need “alone time.” He made sure he carried, distracted, wrestled, whatever it took, so that I could take a shower by myself. Sometimes I could hear the screams as he quickly walked them away from the bathroom door, and I’d quickly rinse bubbles from my hair to make it a short but appreciated shower. Other times, I’d linger long, relaxing in the heat of a hot shower and a minute by myself.

I remember a neighbor, she was a great-grandmother. She told me with a smile, “These were the best days of my life.”

“Diapers and nursing? Ugh.”

She laughed and said, “Because we were all here, together.”

My husband reminds me to enjoy each stage, whether it's that fresh new baby smell that only lasts a short time (when you try to feel "normal" again, whatever that is), or that toddler stage where they are trying to be independent, but don’t have the coordination or strength to do it all, enjoy them. This, too, will change.

Once again, my husband was right.

We’ve moved on to another stage, different, difficult in its own ways, but again my husband reminds me to enjoy the stage. This, too, will change.

I’ve learned raising babies and toddlers was physically exhausting. I never slept through the night for the first twenty-two years of our marriage. (The first year I was pregnant after the first month and who sleeps while you’re pregnant?)

Later when my children became teenagers, I wasn’t physically tired, I was emotionally tired. The decisions they made were not what cereal to have in the morning, but what they wanted to do with their lives. Decisions that made a difference. Those were the emotionally exhausting days. They were really out of my control, and I hesitated to interject my wisdom lest it be rejected.

Now, I see my oldest son with his growing family. I remember the hurried meals, the exhausting bed times, the sleepless nights. They did pass.

My husband was right. It was a short time. That great-grandmother who said, “these were the best years, because we were all together” was also right.

Now as my space in my house increases as my boys leave home, the hole in my heart get bigger. They don’t stay long. But my husband reminds me that they'll return, and bring their families.

My Space, My Time, My Needs?

In every stage of motherhood, I don’t have to push and shove to get my needs fulfilled. I do what God has given me to do, today, this moment.

Do you know why babies must nurse all the time?

I use to get so upset. I’d tell my husband, “All I did was nurse, all day.”

He’d nod and look over the messy house and the burned rice. (After every new baby, I would burn rice for a year. It didn’t matter when I started cooking dinner, the baby would have a marathon nursing time. I would sit and rock and nurse and smell my rice burn. And my husband would come home from work and eat dinner and say, “Good dinner.” And I would cry, because the rice was burned (again). He would tell me, "It's just a short time."

Why do babies nurse all the time?

I would look around my cluttered house as I nursed and wonder if this was the way it was suppose to be. I would make my list of what I would do when I could finally put the baby down and DO something.

Why do babies nurse all the time?

God gives mothers rest during those times. Can you do anything but sit and nurse? Use that time to know God. Praise Him in song. Thank Him in prayer. Meditate on the few words that you were able to grab from reading. Or just rest. God is giving you time. This really is your time.

Let God take care of your space, your time, and your needs. He has blessed you with a child. He knows what that demands. Rest. Sitting and doing nothing...but nursing. And knowing Him.

He does know best.

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I write about what matters...to you---
women, wives and moms---
about your family, faith and future.
I write about what's hard, what helps and what heals.
I show you how it's done. And not done.
I hold your hand as you find what matters to the Savior.
And let go of those things that mattered to you, but not to Him.
I write about what matters...to Him.
               Sonya Contreras

Motherhood
Find other articles about motherhood
here:
What's a Mom?
Memories of a Hero Mom
They Called Her Gammy
Are You Tired of the Same, Old Thing?
Who's Responsible for the Children
The Battle for Our Children
​Dear Master of Hands
Close to Home
Reflections from a Mom
Just the Mother-In-Law
A Mom Who Knew Her Job
Letting Go of my Fourth Son
Making a House a Home
How Do I Pray?
Picking up Acorns
Changed by God
Last Times
Are You a Failure?
What To Do Now?
Are You Tired of the Same Old Thing?
What's in a Book, Anyway?
Marijuana, Mental Illness, and Violence
Confessions of a Desperate Mom
You Are Not Alone
A Wedding Remembered
Sunday Morning Excuses—Is It Worth It?
Stages of Parental Control
Homeschooling Myths Debunked
Seasons
Do You Know the Word?
Wake Up! Strengthen What Remains
Is Jezebel in Your Midst?
Are You Tired of Being a Mom?
A Day in a Mom's Life
What Talents Are You Wasting as a Mom?
What Have I Learned as a Mom?
What's in It for Me?
Adoption—The Heart of God
The Making of a Man part 4
The Making of a Man part 3
The Making of a Man part 2
The Making of a Man
Are Your Children Safe from Bullying?
Are Your Children Safe from Child-napping and Sexual Abuse?
Are Your Children Safe?
The Value of Remembering
Marjorie Rutherford: A Testimony to God's Faithfulness
Marjorie Conrad: A Testimony to God's Trustworthiness
Starting School Again
Dependence or Independence?
Breast Milk Made Especially for Your Child
What Is Essential for Babies?
My Space, My Time, My Needs
What's a Mom?
A Mother's Influence
A Mother of Boys
Prepare for the Lord: Thoughts for Moms from Exodus 19

 

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Tell of My Kingdom's Glory
Three Book Series