The Sacrifice of Thanksgiving: How To Make Your Husband Love You

November  25, 2015
Just before my husband cut off a cancer, his patient asked him, “Is your wife happy?”
My husband has removed close to a million cancers, but for this patient it was his first time. y husband assured him his wife was happy, and so is he.
“Because if Momma’s not happy, nobody’s happy.”

God established the marriage relationship from the beginning of time. He has not changed it. In I Corinthians 7:34, woman was made ‘to please her husband.’ Her calling is to serve her husband, then her children, and when time and energy allows to serving others. 

When our children were young, someone from church assigned me to clean the kitchen. My husband told the woman in charge that I served his needs. I could have made time or cleaned without his approval, but I submitted to him. Many would see him as selfish, not allowing me to have a ministry. But he was protecting me during a time when I nursed 24/7 and had little ones demanded my energy. I still ask him if I can do things that require time away from him. He is my head. I don’t want anything to hinder his ministry. He understands my need to write and allows me that. But I guard my time with him and the needs of our children. He comes first or I have no ministry. I am created to be his help meet.

God’s relationship to His Church is compared to a man with his wife. My understanding of God is affected by my view of my husband.

How I approach my husband is how I approach God.
Do I see my relationship with God as a duty to be performed? Or do I approach Him with love, joy, and delight? Do I approach my husband with a list that must be fulfilled before I give him anything? Or with my hands empty of expectations and my heart filled with love?

How can I have that right view of God and my husband?
It is a choice. I can choose to focus on how wrong my husband is, so I have a reason not to submit, which leads to discontentment, a habit of sin and rebellion. Or I can choose to be thankful with what have (didn’t we say “yes” at the altar?).

When I’m unthankful, I tell God that He’s not enough. I hurt my husband as my provider.

Thanksgiving doesn’t come through circumstances, but from a choice. Paul said, “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.” Philippians 4:11.

By learning to be thankful, joy comes.

But you say, “My husband is not even a Christian. He does…”

God didn’t put qualifiers on His command to be thankful. Colossians 3 gives a list of how difficult it will be, “Put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, …put on thankful.” We need His help to deal with our husbands. But He still told us to be thankful. 

It won’t always be easy to take out the trash, because your husband is too lazy. You may be lonely going to church by yourself. You get tired of not being heard by a husband who sits and watches a game. You ‘put on a heart of compassion…and be thankful.’

How does that help?

God values thanksgiving. He sees it as an act of sacrificial worship toward Him.

Make a list of why you married your husband. Use that as your thankful list before God. Tell your husband, even as he watches his favorite game. Share what he’s doing that makes you respect him. Watch him ignore his game and listen.

The amount of reverence you give to your husband is the degree to which you reverence your Creator. (p. 22) (Read that statement again.)
Do you say that you love God? Then obey His commands. Respect your husband, regardless of what he does. How do you do that with the right attitude? Thanksgiving.

It’s our means to worship God through obedience to His Word. Is God pleased?

Would you want to be cut by a doctor whose wife was not happy?

Pearl, Debi. Created To Be His Help Meet. Pleasantville, TN: No Greater Joy Ministries, 2004.
Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE ®, copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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Author of Biblical fiction, married to my best friend, and challenged by eight sons’ growing pains as I write about what matters.

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